A Shy, Boring Date
by Steeven Lee
Summary: John, the least interesting stallion in Equestria, goes out on a date with Miss Fluttershy. This story is non-canonical with his diary, which is another story I'm writing. John and Fluttershy aren't dating at all in "The Diary of John", nor would John ever dream of doing something so horribly reckless. This is just a for-fun one-shot.


I check to make sure that this is the right restaurant. Oh goodness gracious, what if it isn't? What if I am incorrect and I have the entirely wrong directions? Oh dear. I'd best check again. To wind up at the wrong place would be most reckless of me, so I look down at the small note which I have written to myself:

_Dear John,_

_Do not forget that you are meeting Miss Fluttershy at the restaurant on Avenue G at exactly 7:30 pm. It would be very horrible if you (or I, I should say. Dear me, all this note-writing is very distressing. My goodness) forgot to meet her. I daresay that feelings may be hurt, and we cannot have such a terrible thing happen._

_Just remember to be nice (not that that is too much trouble - you are (or, rather, I am (or is it we are? (good heavens, I am writing too many parentheses once again. This nonsense must stop at once))) a very polite stallion). Be courteous and, for Heaven's sake, try not to go too overboard with the exciting food - you are still a sensible pony, remember._

_Sincerely,_

_John_

_P.S. Be very, very conservative with your comments. Miss Fluttershy is not to feel insulted by anything you say._

I straighten my brushed hair and take a slight breath in. Goodness me, this is much too exciting. How in Equestria did I wind up going out on a date, anyway? I mean, yes, Miss Fluttershy is quite a lovely mare - I was not implying that I would rather be away from her - It's just that I have no clue what I am doing. I am likely to make a fool of myself, or worse. I could possibly find myself doing something exciting. Oh dear. I think I see her coming. Yes, that is her. Okay, here it goes.

"Hello, Miss Fluttershy. You look rather nice," I say cheerfully. I do hope I do not come off as being seductive or any such inappropriate thing. It is not my intent at all.

Miss Fluttershy smiles back at me. "Hi, John," she says happily "are you ready?"

"Of course, Miss Fluttershy."

I am most certainly not. How did I wind up going on a date, anyway? How reckless of me. I am sincerely shocked at my exciting and carefree behavior as of late. Oh goodness.

Okay, John. Walk up to the door. That is all you have to do. Simply walk up to the door and hold it open for Miss Fluttershy.

I am taken by surprise as a nicely dressed waiter opens the door for us.

"Hello, and welcome. Please, come in," he says in a strange accent. I take a breath and release it.

"Thank you, sir."

* * *

Miss Fluttershy and I are now sitting at our table in the middle of a colorful, fancy restaurant. All around us, classily-dressed ponies are bustling about their business. They are eating a wide variety of exciting foods. Goodness. The smell is overwhelmingly potent as well. All sorts of scents are pouring in from practically everywhere. Could this date turn me into a reckless hooligan? Could that be all it takes? Oh my goodness. Oh no. I cannot believe it. What if I spill something? What if I accidentally woo Miss Fluttershy? Oh gracious, that is not my intent at all. I just want to be nice, and I figured that a date would make her feel very nice.

Oh. Here comes the waiter who opened the door for us. He's handing us our menus. Okay, John. Take a deep breath, and just look at the food...

Oh my word. Look at all of these high-class meals. How in the world shall I decide something common among this mess of exciting things? Oh. Soup. That looks nice and simple. I think I shall have that, along with some... uh... crackers. Yes. That shall do nicely. But wait - I need to order the drinks first. Oh goodness me. I suppose that water would be nice. Okay.

Oh I almost forgot. I need to take Miss Fluttershy's order as well. Gracious, that would be rude if I had forgotten to do so. That would be rude and reckless. Quickly, I speak up.

"What would you like to drink, Miss Fluttershy?"

"Oh, I think that just some water would be fine. Thank you."

"Okay, then. Two waters, please," I say to the waiter, who then departs to get our drinks.

Now it is just Miss Fluttershy and I at a table. Well, I suppose it would be fine to start up a conversation. That is what ponies do on dates, after all, right? I think that is, anyways. Goodness, I am definitely not prepared.

My heart almost nearly pounding with excitement, I speak.

"So, Miss Fluttershy, how have things been with Mr. Angel?"

She looks up at me suddenly, as if I had startled her from thinking.

_"Oh. Uh... good. They've been going good, John."_

"Oh. That's good."

_"Yeah, it really is."_

I did not quite hear that. "I beg your pardon, Miss Fluttershy, I'm not trying to be rude or anything like that, but I didn't quite hear you. What did you say?"

"I said it's good," she says, blushing and shrinking slightly away. I knew it. I just knew it. I am being too reckless and insensitive on this date. Oh dear, how am I going to make it up to her? Oh dear. This is going to be simply awful. I just know it.

* * *

I am now walking Miss Fluttershy out of the restaurant. I feel awful. I must have been too insensitive earlier. That simply has to be the case. Oh dear. The whole meal, she was blushing and staying quiet. I can't say that I said much, either. In fact, I felt very awkward. I feel reckless, too. Going out on a date. What in the world would mother think of me? Before I know it, I'll find myself having sugar with my tea or some other reckless nonsense. We step out into the night-time air.

There is another moment of awkward silence.

"Miss Fluttershy?"

"What?" She asks, still shy.

I speak frankly with her. It wouldn't be polite of me to hide my feelings like this. "I feel that I was rude to you. You see - and you must beg my pardon if these details are much too intimate - I have never been on a date before."

At this, she perks up and looks at me. "Really?" she asks.

I am, to say the least, a little confused at her reaction, but I must continue. "Yes, really. I have never been on a date before and, to be honest, I wasn't looking forward to this one. Do not get me wrong, however. It's not you I was concerned with. You are a lovely mare, Miss Fluttershy, and I hope you know this. No, I was worried that I would act rudely or insensitively, since I've never been on a date before."

A moment passes as I'm not sure whether or not Miss Fluttershy is taking me sincerely.

Wait, why is she laughing?

"Oh, John," she says, smiling "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. I was nervous, too. I've... I've never been on a date before, either."

"Oh," I say, slightly taken aback. I had no clue. Well, needless to say, that's a relief. At least both of us where somewhat nervous... if that can be considered a good thing-

Before I know what's happened, Miss Fluttershy has wrapped her arms around me and given me a hug. I am startled by this, of course. It is quite unexpected.

"Thanks, John. I had fun," she says. Before I can so much as reply, however, she says something about having to go home and take care of her animals. Then she leaves, blushing slightly.

Hmm.

...

As nice and warm as I feel inside right now, It's only too obvious: I'm getting too reckless. I shall not be going on any dates any time soon. Not until I have calmed down some more.

As I head home for the night, I think ahead, looking forward to a nice cup of tea and some crackers to go with it.


End file.
